


The Hotter the Better

by SoBeBold



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Humor, Iron Husbands, M/M, Meet-Ugly, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Tattoos, author took many liberties with the canon storyline, my bad - Freeform, or tries to, shawarma makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-12
Packaged: 2019-02-09 02:03:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12877842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoBeBold/pseuds/SoBeBold
Summary: “You’ve got the nicest ass this side of the Mississippi.”Rhodey shouts “Seriously?!” Before they both freeze and realize, with bombs going off all around them, that they’re soulmates.





	The Hotter the Better

“You’ve got the nicest ass this side of the Mississippi.”

Rhodey shouts “Seriously?!” Before they both freeze and realize, with bombs going off all around them, that they’re soulmates. The next instant Rhodey’s running, full tilt, to get to his suit. The suit that he realizes was hand-crafted by none other than Tony Freaking Stark. His honest-to-God soulmate.

 

So the damn mark showed up when he was seventeen. His response had been bewilderment and disbelief. _What kind of cave-person am I cursed with? Who says those first words to anybody, let alone the person they’re gonna be with forever?_ Everyone who saw it had the same response; a grimace and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. How unfortunate. It soured him on meeting his soulmate one day, but hey, at least he could count on having a nice ass whenever that day came. 

It went on to be his ice breaker, being especially popular at frat parties and football games. Eventually, he stopped having a sense of anticipation about his _first meeting_ and everyone understood why. Now here he is, and he can’t help but think that this whole thing is appropriately …melodramatic.

“How is this my life?” Rhodey calls up to the heavens. Tony blasts an evil alien right before it pounces on him, giving the suit just enough time to reach him. Tony winks saucily just as Rhodey’s enveloped by graphite-colored armor. “Now that I’ve found the ass, I have to keep it safe. That’s my soulmate duty. You’re welcome.”

Of course he’d known who Tony Stark was, in a nebulous sense. Who didn’t? They went to MIT at the same time. Sometimes the still youthful, not-yet-world-weary James would see him swaggering around campus like he knew exactly how fucking sexy he was (of course he knew), but they never talked. They’ve never had a conversation until now, decades later, when they’re bothsuperheroes and city’s falling down around them. 

“James Rhodes. So, you’re it, huh?” Tony’s the master at sounding flippant, but his pupils dilate and his eye shine. The creases that line them, as he grins that cocky-ass Tony Stark grin, are soft and malleable. 

“Guess so. And I got you.” Whaddya know, Rhodey feels kinda gooey himself. 

“Guilty as charged. You’re the one they picked for my suit. It seems only fitting. So, uh, got any hobbies?”

Rhodey shoots down the alien that drops in front of Tony. “Wanna talk about this a little later?” He shouts above the abysmal racket of saving planet Earth.

“Like after the bombs stop dropping and we beat these assholes? That might be prudent.”

Rhodey realizes something. “Wait, you remember who I-?“ An explosion splits the sky overhead, and the top three stories of a nearby skyscraper fold like a deck of cards. He puts a bookmark in it; they’re gonna need to discuss that.

 

It took decades and an alien invasion to get to this one all-consuming moment. Rhodey gets hit by a heady, feverish rush that even being in the suit doesn’t give him.

He has his reservations-a whole heap-but Tony Stark is a wunderkind that many a man and woman would cut off limbs to be soulmates with. Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. 

He feels a rush unrivaled, but he feels apprehension, too. Forget the legends, who is Tony Stark the _man_?

His hyper-sensitive, highly-advanced communications system somehow intercepts a satellite transmission-from Iron Man. “Hey Pep, Can you move my ten o’clock tomorrow? I just found my soulmate.” Rhodey narrows his eyes, until he hears Tony’s follow up, “It was worth the wait. He’s perfect.” 

 

The street is littered with lifeless, eight-foot-tall corpses and it’s painted in green, viscous blood. The ruined concrete crumbles when Iron Man and War Machine land. They ratchet back the faces of their suits. Here they are, eye-to-eye, no more aliens to delay their meeting. 

Tony’s got that soft-eyed look going again. “How about we go for shawarma after the cleanup and discuss this whole ‘us together forever’ thing?”

Rhodey’s feeling pretty goopy, too, but he tries to play it cool. “Gotta be honest, I’m not a big fan.”

“Of us being together forever?!”

“Of shawarma.”

“That’s even worse.I think this system is broken. You can’t be my soulmate if you don’t like shawarma.”

Tony glares at his tattoo like it’s done him bodily harm. He shakes his arm out, like he’s trying to get the ink to slide off. Rhodey's first word to Tony rests in a neat, swooping cursive on his forearm—It even has the question mark and an exclamation point—

a complete contrast to the block letters emblazened on the underside of Rhodey’s bicep, like the entire phrase is ashamed of itself and wants to hide away.

“How about Thai?”

A glint of that mischievous expression and Rhodey knows he’s a goner. “Now you’re talkin’”. 

“Basil chicken with white rice-“

“Chicken satay and red curry-“

“The hotter the better.”

Tony surges forward. Kisses him. Makes his knees bang and rattle. Good thing he has a high-tech exoskeleton to hold him up, because suddenly he has no bones. 

“Welp, that felt about right,” Tony says breathlessly. He’s so beautiful with his dark hair and and wild, clever, smiling eyes. Yeah, that did feel about right.

 

They bicker over the wantons until _Rhodey_ kisses _Tony_ , if only to shut him up.


End file.
